When I was little I swear my mamma and great grandmother had Santa on speed dial. Not only was he the giver of great gift on Christmas, but in most Black homes, he was the holiday disciplinarian as well. Below are the top 'Santa Quotes' My Parents Used to get some act right in the house during the holidays.

#1. So you cut up a little bit in church when Sister Ida Mae Hall gets up to sing and forgets the words. Your mamma calls you out into the hallway for a come to Jesus meeting.....

Since you wanna show out at church, I'ma call Santa and tell him to take back everything he bought you for Christmas!

Mom, is Jesus ok with you threatening me in church?


#2. Your bedroom still has toys all over the floor after your mamma has told you repeatedly to clean your room.....

I'm not gonna keep telling you to clean this room 'cause santa clause is watching every little thing you do. And he only brings bags of switches and lumps of coal to kids who don't mind (obey)!

Woooow..... That must save him a butt load of money each year, mom.

#3. You and your cousin just can't quite seem to get on the same page as to who's turn it is when mamma bust through the door with one arm raised.....

Santa Clause has two lists.... a nice one and a naughty one. Now everybody who wants to be on santa's naughty list, raise your hand!

As if either of us would be foolish enough to raise our hands... C'mon mom.

#4. Christmas night is finally here and you just want to stay up with the grown folks and be nosey....

If santa clause comes to this house and finds you still up, he's gonna spit snuff in your eyes!

Mom, I'm pretty sure that's illegal somewhere.


#5. So, you go on to your room, but your parents Christmas party makes it a bit hard to go to sleep. So you're just laying there an hour later when the door opens....

If you don't go to sleep, Santa Clause is gonna pass right on by you and go on to the next house where the kids are sleeping!

Weeell mom, I'm pretty sure other kids' parents aren't in the living room partying like it's 1999 either.

Needless to say, I lived much more of a stress-free life once I found out Santa wasn't real. And oh my goodness, thank GOD he wasn't. He's a pretty ruthless old guy. I'll tell ya.... It was hard work staying off that naughty list. And Lord knows that snuff would've burned pretty badly.


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