The UTEP Pisser Strikes Again: A Campus Menace Gone Viral

Some stories are so strange, so baffling, so wet, that they demand attention. Enter the legend of the UTEP Pisser, a rogue TikTok account chronicling one man’s mission to water every corner of the University of Texas at El Paso campus. And by “water,” we mean exactly what you are thinking.

The videos do not show a face, a name, or any identifying details. Just the unmistakable stream of justice, or injustice depending on how you feel about sacred UTEP landmarks being baptized without permission. Whether it is a staircase, a hallway, or an unsuspecting bronze plaque, the UTEP Pisser is out here committing acts of hydration in the name of chaos.

Is the UTEP Pisser a New Kind of 'Campus Tradition?'

UTEP has its fair share of iconic moments. From tailgates to Minerpalooza, traditions run deep. But this? This is not a tradition. This is performance art mixed with vandalism mixed with biology class. Students are starting to whisper about the account like it is Bigfoot. Some are disgusted. Some are intrigued. A few brave souls are even cheering him on, which is either a new low for humanity or a very avant-garde appreciation of crime.

The mystery only deepens as the account continues to post new videos, each one more cryptic than the last. Sometimes the captions are vague riddles, sometimes they are just emojis, and sometimes they are silent, letting the stream speak for itself. Is this the work of one man? A group of rebels? A campus-wide art project? Nobody knows. What we do know is that the bathrooms on campus are clearly being ignored in favor of more… creative outlets.

Tell us if you know anything about the UTEP Pisser.

That is where we come in. From Iris & Grizz in the Morning, we are putting out a plea to El Paso. This is not just about UTEP pride. This is about dignity. This is about justice. This is about not having to explain to your parents why there is a puddle under the Miner statue. We need your tips. We need your theories. We need your memes.

The UTEP Pisser is clever, elusive, and apparently very well hydrated. But with your help, maybe we can track him down and put an end to this golden age of nonsense. Until then, stay vigilant, Miners. And remember: if you see something dripping, say something.