If Santa was from Texarkana, he would….
Question... What if Santa was from Texarkana? Let's think this through.
So here's what I think. If Santa was from Texarkana, his Christmas would go a lil something like this....
Santa picks up the goods from the North Pole and rolls back into town locked in to the hottest station in the city, of course... Majic 93.3 with his BEST FRIEND AT WORK.
Suuuuch a busy day ahead, but first things first..... Santa needs his fit for the night.
Up up and away to the South House, Rudolph!
Because Santa's pimpin's superb, this year he'll be rocking that all red suit trimmed in Louis Vuitton with the Louis VB mask to match. ONLY Santa and Southside Reggie can come down that clean in the month of December. Back in the sleigh... Santa and his elves are suddenly hungry.
Next stop Johnnie B's! Up Up and away Rudolph!
Upon arriving at Johnnie B's, Dasher and Rudolph are perplexed by the weird combination of cologne and some other unknown fragrance in the atmosphere. Santa and the elves leave them to discuss while they grab that faithful deluxe breakfast...
Fat full and back in the sleigh, Santa tells Rudolph to hit Stateline so they can hop in line to get cookies from The Cookie Lady.... knowing these new-age parents don't leave cookies and milk for Santa anymore.
Oh yeah... speaking of milk... TK's Santa prefers moonshine over milk on Christmas night. So you know where they're heading... but just before getting there Rudolph hits a pot hole on College drive and knocks several of the reindeer hooves out of line. Fortunately, they were able to call GIDG Towing and were back on the road in no time. Can't pull up in Magnolia to the horse ride with jacked up hooves.
After the horse ride, Santa's got time to kill. So, he goes home and gets dressed to go to Dee's first. The ladies are loving the red suit.... can't leave without getting that pic at Dees for the gram and the book.
The night goes really well, and as a reward to his elves and the reindeer crew, he has food catered the next day from Meals By Forte.